Tips and advice for teaching your teenager good manners
Teaching teenagers manners
It is a common belief in today’s society that teenagers have no manners. It is thought that the days of chivalry are long gone and have been replaced by bad attitudes and rudeness. While this might be true in some respects, much of this is not the teenager’s fault. Like most things in life, manners need to be learned. But how do you teach a teenager manners, especially if they’re unreceptive? Well, I have the solutions to your problem. I’ve created a small list of things you can do to transform your teenagers into young ladies and gentlemen.
Be Patient: The teen years are a very awkward time in a person’s life. I’m sure you remember your experience as well, unless you blocked the memory completely. Teenagers are pumped full of hormones and they’re changing, both physically and emotionally. These years are when they are going to say and do as much as they think they can get away with. So when it comes to teaching manners and using the following steps, one of the most important things you can do is to be patient.
Teach, don’t yell: It is very important that you teach good manners calmly instead of yelling. If your teen has his/her elbows on the table, address them in a smooth manner. Yelling “Get your elbows off the table”¨ isn’t going to produce the results you’re looking for.
Practice: Private family dinners are the perfect situation to practice good manners. Stress to the point of almost overstressing good manners here, because your teen will more likely participate when no one but his/her family is around. The more you practice good manners, the more likely that they will rub off on them.
Teach what you do want: If your teen is complaining about what he/she doesn’t want for dinner, ask them to tell you want they do want. Changing around the structure is very instrumental in changing the tone of a statement. By eliminating the whiny “don’ts”, politeness will soon follow.
Don’t reprimand in public: One of the worst things you could do would be to publicly reprimand your teen for bad manners. If you are out with them, make a mental of list and bring it up later in private. Being embarrassed, especially around their peers, is a nightmare for a teenager and doing this to them will only make things worse.
Expect Politeness: After teaching and reteaching good manners to your teen, you must come to expect them. Stay consistent with reinforcing them. If you let bad manners slide a couple of times, your teen will regress. By expecting good manners, you will help reinforce their importance to your teenager.
And most importantly, if you want to teach your teen good manners you must teach by example. If you have good manners, they will likely follow. It may not seem like it now, but they really do look up to you and are secretly mimicking what you do. If you have good manners and demand that your teens do too, they will smoothly transition from awkward, grumpy teenagers into well-adjusted, young adults.