The signs of a cheating spouse, wife or husband
Do you spy on your spouse? Have you ever thought of hiring a private detective? There is an easier to way to discover a cheating spouse. Unless your spouse has no conscience at all, they will inevitably leave one or more of the signs listed below. As they say, “You can’t hide your lying eyes.”
The first thing to look for is a drop in sexual relations. This is the most obvious sign, although you can not tell by this symptom alone. To do that would be like diagnosing a cold based solely on a runny nose. A decline in intimacy can be caused by simple things like exhaustion. However, if your spouse is having sex with another person, then it is logical that they won’t need to have sex with you. In most cases, the sex between a married couple declines before an affair. If you notice this sign coupled with another, it may be time to consider the possibility of a cheating spouse.
Another obvious sign is habitual tardiness. If your spouse is always late, it may just be a character flaw. Yet, if they are always having trouble explaining why they were late or where they were, then it might be due to an affair. A spouse who is always home on time and always tells you where they are going is probably not having an affair.
Unexpected gifts and other nice gestures from a spouse might not seem suspicious at first; however, an unusual amount of appreciation might be a bad sign. Sometimes guilt will get the better of someone who is cheating and they will try to compensate by becoming overly nice. This doesn’t make up for the fact that they cheated but it does ease their conscience. It will also ease your conscience creating a false sense of security in your relationship.
Is your spouse becoming increasingly jealous? This can also be a sign of adultery. They start thinking that if they are cheating without you knowing, than you might be cheating without them knowing. They start to question things that you say that sound like their excuses. For example, if he or she were at a motel with his or her partner and he or she used the excuse that they were at their mom’s house. They might become suspicious of you when say you went to your mom’s house, even though that is what you did. If they used that same excuse, than how do they know you aren’t using an excuse, too?
Of course we must consider the opposite of the above situation. Sadly, if your spouse has developed strong enough feelings for their new lover, they may be very inattentive. In this case you could be having an affair with their best friend and they wouldn’t notice. This lack of interest would be present in all areas of your relationship. This can also appear before a separation or divorce. It is a sign that they are no longer invested in the relationship formed between the both of you.
Another sign that you might not think about is excessive fighting. Sometimes a person who is cheating realizes, at least on the inside, that what they are doing is wrong. To deal with this they need an excuse. So, if you think that your spouse is actually picking fights with you, they may be doing just that. Again the culprit is guilt. A spouse who is truly good at cheating can even make you think the fights were your fault. When it blows up in his face, he can then bring up the fact that you two weren’t getting along. He’s not just trying to convince you, he’s trying to convince himself.
A change in your spouse’s personality is another sign you might not notice. Is your spouse suddenly using drugs, changing his choice in music, or going places he doesn’t usually frequent? Many times in the first stages of a new relationship we are exposed to a larger variety of items by our new boyfriend or girlfriend. We are also more open-minded at this stage of dating and therefore are apt to change all of the sudden to adopt our partner’s way of thinking. A change in personality might also be the reason for the affair. Sometimes the same mid-life crisis that will cause personality changes may also cause a person to have an affair.
After reading these signs, we must remember that one of these signs alone does not constitute a straying spouse. If there are a number of these signs you may want to discuss your concerns with your spouse. However, the very fact that you are wondering should tell you that something is wrong in your relationship. This does not necessarily have to be a problem with the marriage although that is the most likely problem. This could be stemming from your own insecurity. In this case you may just need some encouragement from your spouse, or it may be something you have to work on.