Signs of a cheating spouse: There are several signs to look out for if you suspect that your spouse is cheating
Here are some of the tell-tale signs of a cheating mate:
MYSTERIOUS UNACCOUNTED FOR PERIODS OF TIME
If someone has nothing to hide, then they hide nothing. If your partner suddenly has a mysteriously busy schedule, and he or she doesn’t want to get into the details of their whereabouts, then there is a good chance that they have something shady going on. If you question your partner about the unaccounted-for periods of time, and they get defensive, then you are in a doubly bad situation. If they had been busy doing something innocent, then they would tell you about it. If they don’t want to fess up, and they get angry at the interrogation, then they are trying to buy some time to come up with a viable excuse to feed you. Evading questions is a tell-tale sign of a cheating mate. If you are in a committed relationship, then you have the right to know where your partner goes. This is not to say that you should be getting a phone call from your boyfriend when he fills up his car at the gas station, but if he is going to be missing all Friday night, then you are certainly entitled to an explanation. If your mate hasn’t gotten a job promotion, but is suddenly pulling lots of late night meetings, then you should explore what is really going on.
Mistresses aren’t cheap dates, generally speaking. If you are married, and you have noticed that your bank account balances are dropping by the day, then you should question your spouse about new spending habits. Check your credit card statements for mysterious lunches, or jewelry purchases. If your husband spent a thousand dollars at Tiffany’s this month, and you don’t have a birthday coming up, then you better do some detective work. Married couples should be making financial decisions jointly, so you are well within your rights if you want to question strange purchases. If you notice that your spouse is trying to cover up his tracks by racing to the mailbox to get the bills out before you see them, then you might have a cheater on your hands. Ask your spouse why he is being so secretive about payments and purchases, and demand answers! Unfaithful mates will try their best to conceal their infidelity, but you have to stay strong and get the truth.
NEWFOUND CAR CLEANLINESS
Has your partner’s vehicle gone from a trash-haven to a babe-magnet? If your partner has a newfound urge to keep the cheeseburger wrappers off the floor, or suddenly visits the carwash as regularly as he visits his office, then you should be curious about who he is trying to impress. Of course, it is nice to have a clean vehicle, and sometimes people just get on cleaning kicks, but old habits usually die hard, and that includes sloppiness. If he seems to be very preoccupied with keeping things tidy, ask him why. If he takes too long to answer, then the truth probably is infidelity. If the truth was actually just that he wanted to keep things clean (New Year’s resolution?), then he would be quick to respond. You might also try to trick him (hey… if he’s a cheater, he deserves it). Next time you are in his car, put the passenger seat in an uncomfortable position. The next day or a couple of days later, check to see if it has been moved. If so, ask him who he was driving with. If he says that nobody was with him, then you know he is a liar.
Has your slob turned suave? While it is not impossible that his new and improved looks are for you, a major shift in appearance can be indicative of a cheating mate. He might be dressing to impress a new woman, or he may be making the improvements so that he can attract potential ladies. It could be a new wardrobe, a new hairstyle, new cologne (by the way, if you smell women’s perfume, you have even more grounds for suspicion), facial hair, etc. Be on the look out for a guy who starts to take a new interest in his looks. If he seems to be extra spruced up for the office, then you might be dealing with a workplace romance. What should you do? Confront him. Ask him why he cares so much more about his appearance lately. Again, if he seems to struggle to come with an answer, then he is probably trying to conjure up a believable lie for you. If he wasn’t cheating, then why wouldn’t he be sharing his new interest with you? It might be nice to see him looking extra dapper, but sometimes it can be a clue of infidelity.
CHANGE OF EMOTIONAL DYNAMICS
If your relationship seems to have changed, then you should wonder why. You used to talk about your days during dinner, but now he seems to be less interested in talking to you than he is in watching the evening news during a meal. You used to cuddle every night in bed, but now he just lies down on his side facing the opposite direction and dozes off. You used to love hanging out alone on Saturday nights, but now he prefers to go to a bar and play darts “with the guys.” Emotional intimacy is every bit as important to a relationship as physical intimacy, so if you feel like your guy is withdrawing from your emotional relationship, then you should definitely confront him. Tell him that you miss talking and cuddling. If he’s not talking to you, then he might be talking, and more, with someone else.
ODD PHONE HABITS
If your guy suddenly changes his phone habits, then he might be straying from the relationship. Does he go into another room when he gets a phone call? Does his cell phone ring more often, or late at night? He might be getting phone calls from another woman. Maybe he has started rushing to the phone when it rings so that you don’t answer it, or maybe he conceals the phone bills so that you won’t see a pattern of calls from his mistresses’ number. First, tell him that you think it is strange behavior, and that you are worried about the reason for it. If he has nothing to hide, then he will stop doing it. If he has something to hide, then he will get defensive and try to put the blame on you for being nosy and suspicious.
NEW SEX POSITIONS
This one is only applicable to couples who have been together for a year or more, or to married couples, because until you have been sexually intimate for a while, you shouldn’t be sure that he has pulled out all of his tricks. Once you have been sexually intimate with someone for a while, you know what their style, technique, and positions are like. If you have sex and he has some outrageously different and new position, ask him where he learned it. Hopefully, it was just a men’s magazine or some tip from a guy pal, but if you aren’t so lucky, then he got this tip from a personal tutor — the woman he is cheating on you with. It might seem embarrassing to ask about a sex position, but better to be embarrassed than bamboozled.
If the two of you have been going through a rough spot in your relationship, and suddenly the fights stop, but the issues are still unresolved, then it could be that he has given up on the relationship already. If he stops caring about your issues, then what is he spending his time caring about? Well, it could be another woman.