Relationship advice: How to deal with potentially dangerous jealousy in a relationship or marriage
Dealing with dangerous jealousy in a relationship
In this day and age, most of us feel dependent on one another. Whether that person may be a mother, father, sister, brother, or another close family member and friend. The majority of us have come to depend on our significant other, or spouse. Wanting desperately for everyday to just be a bed of roses, but reality shows us that it just doesn’t happen like in the movies anymore.
Jealousy in a relationship, is a serious matter and it should not be taken lightly. It is not one of those things that you figure, if I ignore it, it will go away. If you have dealt with jealousy already, ignored it, and think it is over and done with, well you better think again. Jealousy can be a very volatile situation, almost like a volcano waiting to erupt.
Statistics show that there are approximately 960,000 cases of abuse every year. Almost 60% of those cases began with a jealous rage. It can start out simple as a little annoying growl, or maybe a dirty look from the corner of an eye, and can quickly escalate into a whole lot more. Statistics also show that people who are showing jealous impulses, are not happy with something in there personal life. It doesn’t always have to be about fear of you with another person. You may have a job that is better, or you are educated a little more, and even as simple as you cook a little tastier. The smallest little detail could be large enough to produce an outrage.
I am not trying to terrify you, and I do not know your situation. I am also not a doctor, or authority figure. Just someone who has experienced this matter first hand, and trying to offer some helpful advice.
Take time to try to identify the nature in which your partners jealousy may stem from. Maybe they feel intimidated because you have the career, and they are the homemaker for example. Sit down and discuss this with your partner. Ask them what makes them feel intimidated by you, don’t interrupt, just sit and listen. After your partner has had his/her say, then calmly try to explain to them that you are not trying to intimidate them, and that you are sorry about unconsciously doing so. Get them to tell you how they feel, you may be able to get over this as a couple, and move past it.
What do you do if you feel like there is no getting past it? Talk to your partner, again very calmly, to see if they would like to put an end to the jealousy, and maybe seek some relationship counseling. If the thought of counseling angers or upsets your partner, do not push the issue. Talk to someone secretly on your own, or try a support chat with other people who can help you online. There are many support sites, and forums out there for you.
Definitely find a support group, or a counselor, maybe even a really good friend to confide in. Just find some sort of help before things get unbearable. Things like hiding your car keys, not letting you speak with your family and friends, or mentally, verbally, even physically abusing you. Don’t let them tell you that you will never find anyone that will love you the way that they love you. It is not true, you do not have to sustain abuse to be loved, love isn’t supposed to hurt. Also, don’t listen to the, I am only like this because everyone leaves me, no one tries to help me through it. That is just a desperate plea to pull the feel sorry for me routine. I have heard them and believe me they are so not true. Most importantly, if you are at the point in your relationship where you are being abused, please, please, by all means disregard everything you have just read, and get out of there now. Your life may just depend on it.